The Permission to Feel: Reclaiming the Moment as Mine

The Permission to Feel

For so long, I’ve been living in delay.

Holding back. Waiting. Not because I didn’t want to feel, but because I didn’t trust that it was safe to experience the moment fully.

I would brush up against joy, but not sink into it. I would feel love, but not let it carry me. I would live moments of connection, but only at the edges, waiting for some unspoken permission to let them all the way in.

And then, when the moment passed, I would long for it. Not out of nostalgia, but because I had never truly had it in the first place. I would crave a replay, a second chance, a way to experience it in its entirety—this time with my whole body, my whole heart.

But what if I never needed the replay? What if I could stop waiting and let myself feel everything—now?

What if I didn’t have to seek permission?

Because joy doesn’t ask for approval. Love doesn’t wait for conditions to be met. Memories do not belong to another person—they exist within me, pulsing with life, ready to be felt again and again. Not because I am clinging to the past, but because joy and love are not linear. They are infinite. They are mine to experience, always.

And when I let this truth sink in—when I let it land in my bones, not just my mind—I feel something unexpected.

Lightness.

The weight of hesitation lifts. My body softens. My bones feel like they are floating inside my skin. I am not gripping, not bracing, not holding back.

I am simply here.

Living. Feeling. Free.

And isn’t that the most beautiful thing of all?